


Choose Again and Change

by ThalassaOfManyWaters



Category: Persona 3, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Asexual Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It of Sorts, Forgiveness, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Joker's name is Akira Kurusu here, New Game Plus, Or not, Redemption, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Video Game Mechanics, actually most of the P5 cast takes a while to show up too, and also Minato's life, and also fix some things by accident that they didn't know were broken, background relationships of varying sexualities, citywide epidemic that’s not treated very realistically, everyone's life kind of sucked actually, fixing things only to break other things, is it Major Character Death when they go back in time almost immediately and are no longer dead?, it's mainly just Minato, lots of characters discussing morality but not really coming to any conclusions, messing with people's minds both on purpose and accidentally, minor trans character, most of the P3 cast won't show up for a long time, recovering from the mess that is Akechi's life, the mess that is Akechi's life, we fix some things but also go very off the rails
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThalassaOfManyWaters/pseuds/ThalassaOfManyWaters
Summary: The Phantom Thieves saved the world and got their happy ending. They have no reason to go back and try again. Someone else, however, has every reason to want things to have gone differently. What if the universe gave Goro Akechi another chance, to go back to the beginning and choose again? What if someone helped him this time, even if it was only in dreams?(This started as a New Game + story where Akechi got the chance rather than Akira. Inspired by the Hours!verse and the fact that he needed someone to talk to, Minato showed up. It's a fix-fic... sort of... things go horribly wrong in somewhat different ways, anyway.)Alternatively: in which Goro Akechi dies, time travels, angsts a lot, gets revenge, causes more problems, learns about the Power of Friendship (or at least how to weaponize it), gets forcibly adopted, and saves the world, or at least Tokyo. Mostly intentionally. Sort of. Ok it was basically as a side effect of what he was actually trying to do, but whatever, it turned out better than his last plan, so he’ll take it.(Events not yet written subject to change without notice.)
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Arisato Minato, Akechi Goro & Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro & Phantom Thieves of Hearts
Comments: 48
Kudos: 107





	1. In which the main character dies and decides to try out radical honesty

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Count of Monte Cristo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12027351) by [Scedasticity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scedasticity/pseuds/Scedasticity). 
  * Inspired by [Butterfly Cascade](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747186) by [TwilightKnight17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightKnight17/pseuds/TwilightKnight17). 



> Inspired by the Hours!verse, which showed me the first version of Akechi that I really sympathized with and wanted to get into his head, and the Start Again series, which showed me you can do a new game plus where things get very off the rails and have it work really well. I have borrowed a few elements from both series, as well as the wider P5 fandom; I think I've kept it to an homage and told my own story, but if you think I've borrowed too much, please tell me so, politely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note on warnings: if you were ok with the content of Persona 5, you're almost certain to be ok with the content of this story - it's rated Mature because the game is, and on the whole, it is probably less. I'll still put individual warnings on some chapters; if you think I need to add something, please tell me and I'll consider it.

This story does not start at the beginning, but at an ending. Goro Akechi screamed out his hate to the Phantom Thieves, tried to kill them, found he couldn't, rejected their offers of help - too little, too late, couldn't they _see_ that - found out what his father really thought of him, found the death of all his plans, shot out the door to save his enemies from a version of himself, and died, alone and scared and angry, a monster among monsters.

The fact that he was aware of anything afterwards came as rather a surprise, and not a welcome one.

He dreamed, and knew he was dreaming. He was in a blue space, with blue light, of a shade he associated with something unpleasant, though his mind was foggy enough that the association wouldn't come clear. The space was probably a room, but the edges of everything were vague, more suggestions than anything. He was not alone. He was probably sitting on the suggestion of a chair, and on a blur that was probably a couch nearby was the suggestion of a person. They were more an outline than anything, as blue as the room, and their attention shifted to him.

"Hello. Who are you, and how are you here?" Goro couldn't make out the person's features, but they didn't sound annoyed with his presence, at least, only surprised.

"Goro Akechi, and ... " he hesitated, then went with honesty, "I don't really know? I feel like I'm dreaming, but I should be dead." Very much so.

"Well, that makes sense, at least," the other person said. "I'm dead, too."

Goro's mouth would have dropped open in surprise, despite the fact that he'd been training himself out of such visible reactions, but he didn't seem to be more than a suggestion, himself. This fact was oddly unconcerning.

"Is this some sort of afterlife, then?" he asked. This was not what he would have expected for himself, if such a thing existed.

"I don't think so," was the answer. "I think this is somewhere between a dream and a memory, for me. My death was a bit unusual, and I chose to stay here. I don't know how anyone else might get here, though. No one ever has before."

The possibility that he might be different, special, in some way, would have pleased him, once. Now he just felt exhausted, and sick of himself.

"How was it unusual? And who are you, please?"

"I didn't introduce myself, sorry. I'm Minato Arisato. I died to save the world, and I chose to use my death to keep it from happening again."

Goro would have reacted in surprise again, but it didn't work any better than before. He wished he could see more than an outline. Without a face, he couldn't tell if Arisato was serious, or mocking him, or mad. As he thought that, the other person did actually become clearer, the vague outline resolving into a boy about his own age, still the same blue as the room, but with hints of shimmering gold whenever he moved. He was still vague anywhere Goro wasn't directly looking, but at least there was now a face, with expressions that Goro could watch.

He was surprised enough by this change that he didn't respond to the boy's words for too long - not that he knew what he could say in response to that statement, anyway.

The boy, Arisato, didn't wait for him to figure it out, possibly because he realized there was nothing to say. "How did you come to be here, Akechi?" he prompted.

There didn't seem to be much point in lying or hiding it. They were dead already, after all. His revenge on Shido would be completed by the Phantom Thieves or not at all, and there was nothing he could do about it now. If Arisato hated him for what he'd done, it would be only what he deserved.

"I murdered a lot of people, attempted to murder the only people who tried to help me, and got killed by the person I was trying to get revenge on." He could make shocking blunt statements, too.

Arisato didn't seem that shocked, though. He blinked, once. "Well, that sounds like quite a story. Would you mind telling it to me?" When Goro hesitated, he added wistfully, "please? It has been... a long time since I had any company."

Well. If he was lonely enough that the company of a murderer was welcome - Goro might as well tell him.

He was feeling detached enough that the idea didn't bother him. Shock, probably. He supposed dying was sufficiently shocking to cause that reaction.

He started at the beginning, with his mother, and her death. He only briefly mentioned his time in the foster care system, but he got the impression that Arisato understood a lot of what he wasn't saying. He didn't seem to be pitying Goro, though, which was good, and surprising. Goro hated being pitied. When Goro reached the point he'd gained his persona, Arisato surprised him again by just nodding, accepting his talk of personas and shadows without question. Goro considered stopping to ask him about that, but now that he had started, he found he wanted to continue talking. It was surprisingly freeing, to tell his story to someone who just listened, without needing to put a spin on it, or justify himself, or use it to manipulate the other person.

Goro continued through finding Shido, finding out just how awful he was, making his plan, joining him, doing his dirty work with the frenzying spell, which the media had dubbed psychotic breakdowns. The first murder, when he had not realized what killing the shadow would do. Finding out, and deciding that if he stopped, failed to take down Shido, her death would be wasted - dishonored. Goro had enough distance now, whether because he was dead or in shock or some other reason, that he could see the fallacy in that, but he knew he hadn't at the time. He kept talking, like bleeding out poison. Continuing murders as Shido rose higher, doing dirty work for other members of the conspiracy as well - and then destroying them too, as often as not, when Shido had no more use for them. The Phantom Thieves. Talking to Joker, complicated emotions and bitter jealousy and trickery on both sides. Blackmailing the Thieves into letting him join, betraying them, murdering Joker. Finding out they had been ahead of him the whole time, that everything he had done had failed, that his grand plan wouldn't have worked even if they hadn't interfered. Asking them to take down Shido in his place, and dying, taking his father's cognitive version of himself with him.

Arisato listened to all of it without interrupting.

When he was done speaking, Goro felt - hollowed out, empty - and for the first time he could remember, calm. He'd poured out his anger in the words, and what he'd thought to be an endless well of hate in him - perhaps it wasn't endless, after all. Or perhaps he was simply too exhausted to feel it, though he wasn't tired. Could you be tired, in a dream after you were dead?

Arisato shifted, drawing Goro's attention back to him, and surprised him again. "Thank you for telling me all of that." When Goro just stared at him, he added, "It must have been difficult for you. I wish things could have been better."

That was such an understatement that Goro started laughing hysterically, and couldn't stop. Arisato didn't take offense, just watched him, with a small smile that almost seemed - sympathetic? Goro wasn't sure.

Once he wound down, Arisato asked him about his personas, and how the cognitive world worked. Goro was grateful for the less emotional topic, and that Arisato was still talking to him. He had never been that honest before, at least not since he had learned, very young, that honesty led to disbelief and punishment, and he felt uncomfortable and vulnerable, with no secrets to shield him. At least Arisato was quickly able to distract him. He'd been a persona-user himself, but it had worked quite differently, and Arisato suspected it was because it had been artificial.

"How do you have artificial personas?!"

"A secret group wanting more power broke the world, letting shadows through, and we had to fix it. I don't know if the personas were artificial, but we summoned them using technology, Evokers, that were basically fake guns you shot yourself with to call a persona." Goro wasn't sure what expression he was making, but Arisato looked mildly amused at whatever it was, and continued. "We also couldn't get into cognitive worlds, or change people's hearts, at least not that we ever found out about. There was a time of day we called the Dark Hour, an extra hour after midnight, when only persona-users were aware and shadows came out and attacked people. It's gone now, but evidently shadows remain." He looked troubled.

This sounded like a story at least as interesting as his own, but before Goro could ask if he'd be willing to tell it, he felt a pulling sensation, and the room, and Arisato, started fading. He had just enough time to see the blue blur of Arisato, seeming to reach out towards him, and then everything was gone.

He woke up.


	2. In which the entire world has déjà vu and Goro ignores a political speech

Goro woke to a very familiar alarm, namely, the Children's Home Matron screeching that they had all better get up now, as anyone who wasn't downstairs in ten minutes got no breakfast. Despite the massive feeling of disorientation, old habits took over, and he was up and ready in exactly eight minutes and thirty-two seconds. Everything was just as it had been when he had lived there, his bed in the tiny corner next to the locked window, the uniform for the school he had gone to before he went to Shido pulled from the locker under the bed, the shoving between the boys in the shared bathroom down the hall. Even the boys themselves were exactly the same. No one even looked any older. The glimpse he got of himself in the battered old mirror was the same, too. Fifteen, or possibly even younger, with the nearly-buzzed haircut Matron demanded to avoid lice. He'd let it grow longer just because he could, after he was out of the Home. It was a small act of defiance, one of the only ones he'd let show on the outside, rather than hidden and hoarded within his own mind, and it was gone.

The shock of that was enough that he let old habits take over completely for a while. He showed a calm and smiling face to the world and buried all his emotions - in this case, more confusion than anger, unusually - and quietly accepted the small portion of rice that was breakfast, along with the scolding delivered to the entire table about the trouble the unwanted boys may or may not have actually gotten into lately, and headed out with his school bag on the familiar train.

Only once he was on the subway, away from the other boys and alone in a crowd, did he go back to trying to work out what was going on. He dug through his bag. Schoolbooks from two years ago. His math textbook had been stolen and torn apart by two older boys near the end of that year, but it was here and intact, though just as battered and second-hand as he remembered it. His folder of schoolwork was all filled in, in his own handwriting. The date on all of them was two and a half years ago.

Two and a half years ago. Just when he had gotten his personas. Just when he had found Shido.

If this was a dream, it was cruel.

He pinched himself hard enough to leave a bruise on his arm before it occurred to him that such a test wouldn't necessarily work. He'd died, then dreamed of Arisato in that room, which had felt very real, and Arisato had implied it was a memory of his. Goro could be dreaming his own memory now.

Or he could be mad. He could be lying in Shido's palace still dying of a gunshot wound, hallucinating blue rooms and being back at the home. Or the other way around, really, he could still be a fifteen-year-old orphan who hallucinated finding his father, shadows, personas, everything, a detailed dream of more than two years. What was real? Although, there was a certain dark amusement in that last idea, as it meant that even his hallucinations refused to believe in anything happy in his future. That sounded right.

It was also possible that this was some strange metaverse effect, from having died within a palace, or even an illusion built by someone or something else. Shadows could use mental ailments; it was not inconceivable that a strong one could trap someone in a hallucination for a while. Arisato had said he was a ghost and their interaction had seemed positive, but he didn't really know anything about the other person. There was also the Voice that had spoken to him in dreams since he'd first awoken Robin Hood; he'd never found any information about it either. Still, he'd been dying; he couldn't think of any reason either of them might have to trap him in an illusion _now_. It wasn't like he could have saved himself anyway.

He checked his phone, the old model he'd saved up to buy second-hand. No app. For that matter, he couldn't feel Robin Hood and Loki in his mind, under his skin, where they had been constantly, so present that he no longer noticed them until he was looking and they weren't there. Their absence felt like a wound. Insanity was looking more and more likely, really. It wouldn't be that surprising, either.

The train pulling into his station interrupted his thoughts. Well, dream or illusion or madness, he might as well go along with it for now, until he could gather more information. He had already established he could feel pain, here, and the way to avoid more was to put on the right mask and show himself to be the perfect child, always. Goro straightened his jacket and went on with his day.

School was bizarrely, surreally normal. All his homework was done and in his bag. All the subjects were teaching things he had learned more than two years ago, and if he didn't remember it perfectly, it didn't matter anyway, since he was only called on in math, which built on previous topics, so he had continued to use what they were learning now until it became easy. Other than that one question, no one spoke to him. It was a good day.

After school, he went to Shibuya. He had homework, which would probably take him quite a bit longer than usual as he refreshed his memory of the specifics of his current classes, but it was a Saturday, so he had a day to do it. Assuming this dream or madness or whatever it was lasted that long, anyway. He wanted to look around more and see if he could find the edges of this dream, or oddities that would give him some clues. Failing that, it might all be completely normal and he might just be going mad. That was evidence of a sort, too.

As soon as he came out of the station into the square, he heard a voice. _Oh_. This was _that_ day. Truly, he was back at the beginning. He turned, and saw, just as he remembered: Masayoshi Shido was giving a political speech, the usual thing about steering the ship of state to a brighter future for all. This day was the first time he had seen his father in person.

 _Oh_. There it was, the hate that had calmed inside him, welling up again, at least as bitterly poisonous as before. He'd hated a lot of people - it helped him cope, in his life - but none so virulently as Shido. If he'd had his gun, he'd have shot the man now, screw pussyfooting around with the metaverse or the plan, and never mind what the bodyguards would do to him afterwards. He'd never needed to survive beyond his revenge, anyway - hadn't really expected to. As he got deeper in, he hadn't even wanted to. What stopped him now was that without a weapon, the bodyguards would just shove him aside with no difficulty. He wouldn't accomplish anything, wouldn't hurt Shido at all.

He shoved a blank mask onto his face and concentrated on breathing, though it felt like breathing in acid. What had happened before, the first time? He'd seen his father and felt hopeful. Maybe the man would be kind, maybe he would want the son he'd abandoned before he'd ever been born. Goro felt sick at how naive he'd been. He'd gone up to Shido after the speech, tried to talk to him, and been brushed off by the bodyguards as unimportant. It had fueled his determination to _be_ someone, to do something important enough that his father would look at him and be proud, would want him.

This time, Goro didn't try to talk to him. He stayed and watched, with as little expression as he could manage, as the speech ended and Shido got in his car and was driven away. Once he was out of sight, the mask was easier to hold, though the hate welling up underneath it did not abate in the slightest.

He frowned, remembering. Something else had happened that day - just after that rejection, he'd accidentally ended up in Mementos for the first time. How had that happened? He'd been thinking about his father, of course - the hate surged again - and, perhaps, his mother? Oh. He'd been thinking something about her, about how his father had left her with only - "memories and mementos," he muttered. That was an ironic thought, given his current situation.

His phone chimed softly. He probably hadn't noticed it the first time around, but as he headed for the subway, just as he had that day, the familiar feeling of Mementos formed around him. Soon he was on the tracks of the first level of Mementos, alone with the monsters.

The pretense of blankness was stifling. He wanted to drop it, to scream hatred at the twisted walls. He wasn't surprised to find there truly was a mask on his face, covering his eyes, cutting off his breath. He tore it off, never mind that it was agonizing, that blood dripped from his face. He'd done this before.

"LOKI!"

His persona came to him, and together they released their rage, destroying a section of the walls around them. Last time, he had been confused and scared, and Robin Hood had come to him, forging a contract to save him from the monsters he had stumbled into. He hadn't found Loki until later. He had been so naive, so foolish, thinking he might have been called to become a hero like in the stories, that he might do _good_ with his powers. Now, Loki burned within him. Robin Hood was there too, behind him, but much more quietly. Goro and Loki smashed everything that came near them, until finally exhaustion overcame rage and he slumped down against a pile of rubble and pulled out his phone. The staring red eye of the app was exactly where it was supposed to be.

Goro smiled into the darkness. He had plans to make.


	3. In which plans are made and Goro goes off the rails

Goro had a lot of trouble falling asleep that night, and when he finally did, he woke again immediately, in a new place. Or - not quite new. He remembered this dream as well, of being trapped in a small stone room with no exits, not even big enough to stand up in. Only a small crack let in light. He felt a jolt. Blue light. He'd seen that shade recently.

As a distraction, he looked around and tried to compare what he saw to his memory of the last time he'd had this dream. It seemed the same, except - maybe there were more cracks? There wasn't any extra light, but cold air was blowing in from somewhere, and he didn't remember that.

"Welcome." The sourceless voice said. Goro remembered that, too. It said approximately what he remembered from before, about the room reflecting his heart, about him having the power of persona, being able to see the truth of humanity and enforce his own justice on those around him. Goro didn't interrupt. He had never known who was talking to him, in these repeated dreams, but he had gotten the sense that they were much more powerful than he was. It was much like talking to Shido had been - agree, obey, and if you wanted to do something else, sneak around and make sure he never found out about it. Goro followed those precepts now, and soon he was falling asleep again.

Apparently he wasn't getting any actual sleep tonight, since he next woke up, not in any bed (regardless of time period), but in the blurry blue room.

One of the blurs resolved itself into Arisato. "You came back!" He sounded surprised, and pleased. Goro tried not to read anything more into that than Arisato's loneliness. He'd welcome any company, that had been clear enough.

Now that he had jumped through two dreams since waking up at the beginning of things again, Goro was less sure of anything's reality than ever. "Are you cycling through dreams?" he asked - or demanded, really. He immediately realized his mistake, and tried to back-pedal. "Ah, I mean, hello again, Arisato. I hope -" he then had nowhere for that sentence to go. The polite formulas seemed rather pointless when talking to a ghost in a dream. Goro flushed red. He hadn't blundered that badly with the social niceties since he had become the Detective Prince. It had been a requirement.

Luckily, Arisato did not seem bothered. He waited a moment, but when Goro did not continue, said, "Hello, Akechi. It is good to see you again. I'm not sure what you mean by cycling through dreams?"

Goro explained what he had seen since the last time he had been with Arisato, still rattled enough that it did not occur to him until after he was finished that he might not want to tell everything to this person he still hardly knew anything about. Still, Arisato had been... kind... so far. If he knew anything, he might even tell him. That was an odd thought.

Arisato was frowning slightly. Goro was starting to get the impression that all of Arisato's facial expressions were understated that way - no broad grins or fierce scowls here. He wondered if that was a side effect of being a ghost, or if that was just what Arisato was like. Had been like. He shook off the irrelevant thought when Arisato started speaking again.

"No, that isn't happening to me. I'm mostly here, I think, though I'm also always aware of the Seal." He evidently interpreted Goro's look correctly, because he explained, "I told you I stayed to prevent the end of the world from happening again, right? I do that by holding a seal on a monster. It doesn't really hold my attention unless it's fighting unusually hard to get through or someone is standing there talking to me, though, so mostly I'm here, which is, well, a memory of where I was safe, I suppose. There were dangers everywhere else, but not in the Velvet Room." He smiled a little. Goro had so many questions he didn't know where to start, and then realized he didn't know how to ask any of them anyway without potentially offending Arisato, and he did not want to do that.

Before Goro could work out what to say, Arisato had turned the subject back to him. "I don't know what is happening to you. I may know death quite well," he smiled a little more widely, as if at a private joke, "but all I really know about what comes after dying is that what I am doing is not typical. It is possible you are dreaming. It is possible it is somehow real. The main thing I've learned is that I have no idea how the universe really works, so the fact that I've never heard of people time-traveling after death except in books doesn't really mean anything. I don't think you're insane, though. I'm fairly certain I'm real, after all, though I suppose I'd tell you that even if I were a hallucination." He paused, then said, almost neutrally, "If you are going back to the beginning, if this is, somehow, another chance... would you do the same things again?"

Goro froze. Another chance?

"NO!" Goro surprised himself with the force of his denial. He breathed in, then tried again, more calmly. "No. Shido - I hate him, I want him dead, _destroyed_ , more than ever!" Well, that wasn't calm. He tried a third time. "But... I won't kill for him anymore. Isshiki, all those other people... I won't kill anyone but him. Never again." He gave a bitter little laugh. "Besides, it was all pointless, even the first time. The plan, to get him to trust me, depend on me, in order to bring him down - it failed. He never trusted me, was planning to have me killed. All those deaths, and for _nothing_." That was a painful thing to admit, but it was true.

Arisato was watching him, but Goro couldn't interpret his expression. He knew he had a good poker face, but Arisato's seemed at least as good, maybe better. Finally he asked, "So what will you do instead?"

That was a good question, and was, besides wondering about the reality of the situation, the main reason he had found it so difficult to sleep. "I don't know. I think... Unless I can think of a better plan, well, I can access the metaverse again. I'm strong, too, at least I think Loki and Robin Hood are as strong as when I - ah, ended, not like when I started. At the beginning, I wasn't strong enough to get through Shido's palace's defenses, not on my own, even if I'd known what to do when I got there, but now... now maybe I can." That was a large part of why he'd evolved his original plan in the first place, hoping that when the real Shido trusted him, he could slip through his mind's defenses. Unfortunately, he'd never succeeded, and Shido's protections increased as he learned more about cognitive psience, more than keeping pace with Goro's developing skills. However, his own ending skill level versus Shido's original protections? That was definitely worth trying.

Arisato didn't try to dissuade him, which was a mercy. There was no way Goro wasn't going after Shido, and he didn't want to fight with Arisato. These dreams of him, talking to him, it was... nice.

Arisato focused on a different part of what he'd said, anyway. "Loki and Robin Hood? You're a wild card?"

Unfortunately, that made no sense. "A what?"

Arisato frowned a little, just a small line between his eyes. "A wild card is someone who can use multiple personas."

"Well, I have two. I suppose that's what Joker was, though. I saw him use at least twenty different ones." Typical, that anything he could do Joker could do better. "He said he didn't know why he could." Was that true, or had Joker been withholding information from an enemy? No way to know now.

Arisato frowned a little more. "I was told almost immediately, and got help from the Velvet Room. I wonder why neither of you did?" He seemed to be talking to himself, there.

Goro was stuck on the first part. "You were a wild card?"

Arisato's focus shifted back to him. "Yes. I had a whole compendium of personas, by the end of my time. I started with just Orpheus, though. How did you get your second one?"

Goro wasn't entirely sure, actually. "He just - he came to me. First, when I accidentally got into Mementos and was almost killed by shadows, Robin Hood came, when I was determined to fight back, and we forged a contract. Then, later, when I discovered what a monster Shido was inside, and decided to destroy him - then Loki came to me."

"Hmm." Arisato considered that. "Major life changes? My friends got new personas when they had, well, call it emotional epiphanies. Maybe it is like that? They didn't get additional personas, though, their previous ones changed to new forms."

Goro swallowed. Arisato was a wild card, like Joker. He had had friends who were also persona users, like Joker. So far he had been kind, but why was he even talking to Goro? Why wasn't Goro already feeling the bitter jealousy that he had felt for Joker?

Maybe because Arisato was dead, like Goro. And trapped. And lonely.

Unaware of Goro's thoughts, Arisato continued on. "I doubt this Joker had twenty different epiphanies in a year, though. That seems excessive. Do you know how he got new personas? Did you see him pick up cards after battles?"

What? "Cards? No, he negotiated with shadows he was fighting, persuaded them to join him. The others helped by threatening the shadows, forcing them to stop and talk." Arisato looked intrigued by this, so Goro continued, describing what he had seen Joker do - had helped him do, during the time he had been with the Thieves. Arisato reciprocated with a description of the odd almost-Tarot cards he had found after battles.

"I wonder if all wild cards do things differently, or if this is another difference between the Dark Hour and the cognitive worlds?" Arisato mused. "Did you ever try it?"

Goro was taken aback. "No, of course not. I'm not -" A wild card. Someone like that. Like Joker, like Arisato. Special. However much he'd wanted to be.

Arisato interrupted him. "I think you are. It's possible there's something else, that would specifically give you two personas but no more, but I don't think that's it. I think you are a wild card, too, just without anyone to tell you what you are or what you could do with it. Will you try? If you get the chance? Please?"

Goro nodded dumbly. That - he had no idea what to say to that. No one had ever - talked to him like that. He wasn't even sure what it was. But if he had the chance, he would try. For Arisato.


	4. In which Goro works for a living and tries using his words

Perhaps fortunately, the dream faded out after that. Goro woke up back in his bed in the children's home, nearly fifteen years old, the day after he had first seen Shido. Whether this was a persistent dream, insanity (he still hadn't ruled that out), or reality, it seemed consistent enough for him to work with, at least. If it was an imposed illusion - well, he'd keep looking for signs of that, and if it was, he would break out. Better to go back to dying because of his own choices than accept a dream of someone else's choosing. Still, so far, he didn't think it was, really. Being back in the Home, seeing Shido getting his way - it was cruel enough that it might actually be real.

The dream about Arisato had been - unsettling - in its own way, but at least it had calmed his rage at Shido enough for him to think properly. Goro spent the morning catching up on where all his classes were at the moment and doing his homework. Even if this plan did not include the Detective Prince role, the facade of the perfect student was still useful, if only for avoiding as much interference and punishment from adults as possible.

That left the afternoon free for him to head to Mementos.

On the way, Goro stopped by a toy shop and picked up a small ray gun, to match the lightsaber he had already had, the only toy he'd been able to hold onto for all these years. Such a cheap plastic toy wouldn't be all that strong against shadows, but he didn't yet have the money for anything better. That was one reason for going to Mementos first. If he was going to get through Shido's Palace without ever even meeting him in the real world, he was going to need to do a _lot_ of preparation.

No matter. It would absolutely be worth it.

The shadows in the upper levels of Mementos were no challenge. By himself, Goro wasn't able to do a hold-up for extra money, but each shadow defeated dropped some cash, though not much. Arisato had said his shadows had done the same, but he had no explanation why either. Still, when Goro got enough to pay for the ray gun, a little food, and to get a start on the curatives he would need in order to safely venture deeper, he wasn't going to complain.

(And he was not going to think about how much faster it was to get around Mementos in the Mona-bus and with a navigator, or how much easier fighting was with a team, or - he _wasn't_ thinking about it.)

His chance for experimenting came after an hour or so. A single one of the pixie shadows remained, and he managed to knock it down without actually killing it, and quickly moved to put a foot on one of its wings to keep it where it was while he pointed his gun at it. That was as close to a hold-up as he was going to manage by himself.

To his surprise, the thing made an "eep!" noise and started talking, just as these things had done for Joker.

"Why are you doing this?"

That was a good question, actually. He settled on, "Because someone asked me to."

Oddly, that seemed to please the little fairy creature. "Ooh! You're going to tell someone about me?"

The silly little thing seemed to be vain. "Yes, I'll tell him how beautiful you are."

It liked that even more. "Heehee! I like you! What do you want?"

What was it Joker had said at this point? "Lend me your power."

The creature glowed, as they had for Joker, then stopped and frowned. "I remember now. I am a persona, and should be at your side. But your heart is closed to me. Until you open it, I cannot be with you." Then it seemed to be done with solemnity, since it added, "But I can give you this! Heehee! Dia!" The glow of a healing spell washed over him, and when it faded, the pixie was gone.

Well. That was - odd.

He wondered if that was confirmation that he wasn't a wild card like Joker. He didn't remember any persona ever rejecting Joker, once the negotiations had proceeded to that point. However, the pixie had implied she should have been able to become his persona, and the problem was with him. It probably was. Was it possible to be a wild card who was just terrible at it?

He shook off the thought. Speculation wasn't getting him anywhere. He'd made the experiment, and could ask Arisato about it later. The negotiation hadn't been useless, either, as the dia spell had healed the various scratches he'd picked up so far. That was one thing he had really envied the Phantom Thieves: neither of his personas had ever learned any healing spells, except for Robin Hood’s random samarecarm, which was totally useless when he was on his own. He supposed it made sense, if his personas reflected him; certainly nothing about himself would imply he could ever heal anyone (the samarecarm was too confusing to think about). It made things more difficult in Palaces, though, as he had only what curatives he'd brought in with him plus whatever he happened to find. At the moment, that was nothing, since he hadn't had the money to buy any yet.

He might as well take advantage of having been healed. Goro set back to work.

That night, he did not dream.


	5. In which there is an awkward declaration of friendship

It took another three nights before he dreamed of Arisato again, instead of the more usual nightmares. When he did, he immediately burst out, "Where have you been?!" Starting out badly was becoming an unfortunate habit.

Arisato just seemed confused. "Right here?"

That did not help Goro's temper. "It's been three days!"

Arisato cocked his head quizzically. "How long was it before that?"

"Consecutive nights!" Wait. "You didn't know?"

Arisato shook his head. "No. I don't think I have much of a sense of time, here." He added contemplatively, "That... may be a kindness, all things considered."

Goro didn't want to think about what that implied. "I thought you were causing the dreams, though?"

That seemed to shake Arisato out of his mood. He looked up. "No? I don't think I'm doing anything. You just... showed up, three times now." Oh. Arisato seemed to sense something, and hurried on before Goro could say anything. "Not that I'm not glad you did! I am glad. I'd call you back again if I could." Goro didn't know what to say. Arisato wanted him here?

Arisato seemed lost for words himself, so there was an awkward pause. Eventually Goro decided to just change the subject. "I tried negotiating with a shadow."

Arisato seemed relieved by the new topic. "How did it go?"

Goro told him about the pixie and what it had said. Arisato didn't seem to know what to make of it, either, at first, but then he said, "Well, maybe... one of the first things I was told, and the most difficult part of being a wild card, for me, was the way we draw strength from our bonds with other people. The closer we are to our friends, the more that increases the power of our personas. Not that I had any friends, at first, and maybe, with the way you seem to have been pulled out of time..." His ramble trailed off.

It took Goro a moment to sort out that Arisato was trying to find a way to ask 'do you actually have any friends?' without being rude. Goro wanted to snarl at him. No. Of course he didn't. Of course he was actually a wild card who was terrible at being one. _Joker_ had made friends everywhere he went, despite his bad reputation. Goro never had.

But Arisato had had trouble with it? Goro could hardly imagine it. "You didn't have friends? What about those other persona-users you were talking about?"

"They became my friends, over the last year of my life, as we fought shadows together. Before that, though, I had no one. My parents died when I was six, and I had no other family. I went to state care, and was shuffled through a series of homes where no one really wanted me there, and it was always temporary. You know what that's like." Goro did know. No wonder Arisato hadn't needed to ask for details when he'd mentioned it before. "It sounded like you had someone to blame, so you got angry. As far as I knew, mine was just a random accident, bad luck in an indifferent world, so I went numb. No one cared for me, so why should I care about anyone or anything?" Some of the boys in the Home Goro was in now were like that. They didn't cause trouble, but they were just as broken as the rest. "I could make superficial, temporary relationships alright, but it took months of living and fighting and going through horrors together before I could really open up to my team. It was worth it once I did, though." He sounded wistful.

Goro was torn between sympathy - he is so much like me - and jealousy - he started like me and ended up so much better - and awe - he started like me and chose to be better and ended up like this - and anger, mostly at the unfairness of life and the universe - he is so much better, and he is dead and trapped and alone. Why should I get this chance and not him?

"Don't you hate me?"

Arisato looked confused. "What? No! Why? Where did that come from?"

Alright, Goro had jumped subjects a little fast. He tried to explain. "Because I seem to be going back and trying again. Getting a second chance, after all the horrible things I've done. I don't deserve it. But you... you deserve it, and you're stuck here. You should resent me, and instead you're... being nice. Helping me. Why?"

At least Arisato looked slightly less confused. "I don't hate you. I think you got a raw deal, and as much as your choices made it worse, I do think you deserve a chance to do better. You already are. As for me, the world was broken ten years before I died, and on course to it even before that. The seal would still be needed. If I got a second chance, I would probably just have to do the same thing again, or worse, watch someone else do it in my place, and I'd rather not. I'd rather you had it, instead. And of course I'm helping you. You're my friend." Goro could only stare at him, shocked. Arisato wilted a little. "If... that is, if you want to be friends?"

Goro did not deserve Arisato's friendship. He was also too selfish to give up this chance. "I... Yes, I would like that. Please."

Arisato smiled at him. "Good. That's settled, then." Goro smiled back, feeling very unsettled. A friend. He was friends with Arisato, somehow. He'd never had a friendship that wasn't a trick, based on lies, but Arisato knew the truth about him and offered friendship anyway.

What did he do now?


	6. In which Goro overthinks things as usual

Apparently, what he would do was to wake up in his bed. He wasn't sure if the dream's timing was good or terrible. On the one hand, he had had no idea what to say to Arisato next. On the other, he wanted to find out, and now he was away from his only friend until the next time he had that dream, which apparently wasn't under either of their control.

A friend. He still couldn't quite absorb that.

Why, though? Why would Arisato want to be his friend? Goro was a murderer dozens of times over. Given all the accidents he'd caused, the number of indirect deaths was even higher. Arisato knew that. Goro may have this second chance, may have sworn he wouldn't keep killing in general, but he was still plotting one very specific murder, and Arisato knew that too. Was this a trick, somehow, after all? Or was Arisato just too desperate for any company at all to care who his new friend was?

Was it pathetic that if that was the case, Goro would still take it and be grateful?

If he thought about this any longer, he would be late for school.

Goro didn't dream of Arisato that night, but he did the night after that. The time had been enough for Goro to conclude that the best he could do was continue to talk to Arisato whenever he had the chance, and see what happened. He even had a place to start.

"You've said you were told about being a wild card, about what that means. Who told you?"

"Igor. I take it you've never been to the Velvet Room?" Arisato didn't seem surprised when Goro shook his head.

"What's the Velvet Room?"

"This is. Or at least, this is my memory of it." Arisato glanced around, fondly.

"Is it always so... blurry?"

Arisato looked at him in surprise. "Blurry? It isn't to me. Maybe because I'm remembering, and you're dreaming? Wait, let me try something." He concentrated for a moment, and the room got less vague. The various blurs resolved into furniture - a chair, a sofa, a low table with a circular design on top - all in the room's ever-present blue. One wall seemed to have intricate patterns running up and down it, though they were still too smudgy to see properly; a shadow on another wall that he had thought might be a blue door turned out to be exactly that. There didn't seem to be any windows or other exits, though. Arisato himself resolved into a sleepy-looking Japanese boy, maybe sixteen or seventeen years old, though he still had blue eyes, blue hair, and shimmers of gold when he moved.

"What did you do?" Goro asked in amazement.

"Concentrated on showing you what I saw. This is my space, my memory, after all. I'm glad it worked. I wasn't actually sure it would do anything." Arisato looked pleased at his reaction.

"It's lovely, but no, I've never been here before."

Arisato proceeded to explain about Igor, Elizabeth, and a place between dream and reality called the Velvet Room that he had first gotten to in dreams, but then could come and go to as he wished through a blue door only he could see, and how they had given him cryptic but accurate advice, help managing his personas, and odd and sometimes ridiculous quests. It all sounded very strange, but Goro had spent two years as a metaverse assassin, died and time-travelled (or whatever this really was) to try again, and was now talking to a ghost in a dream. The only part that he really had trouble believing was that Igor and Elizabeth had been as disinterestedly helpful as Arisato clearly thought they had. Maybe Arisato just wasn't paranoid enough. After all, he had followed their advice and ended up dead and trapped here.

Still, Goro wasn't dealing with them directly. Their information about personas appeared to have been sound, and Arisato was willing to share it, though a lot of what they had told him involved persona fusion, which was not actually helpful to Goro in this situation, though it explained a lot about where Joker had been getting his personas, if he'd had access to it. It was nice to listen to Arisato talk, though, and to work together to compare what Arisato had been told with what each of them had observed in order to pick out information Goro could use.

That conversation continued through several more dreams, spread out over the next few weeks as Goro worked his way down into the lower levels of Mementos. The doors the Phantom Thieves had opened later were obviously still closed, but he had been doing this long before they'd arrived, the first time. He'd never found a way to open the doors on his own, but he'd gotten around that by observing that they were at a subway station and running along the train tracks in between trains. It was dangerous and nerve-wracking, especially as he got deeper in and trains came more often, but it worked. At least the app's ability to let him enter Mementos at any safe place he'd already been to meant he only had to do each run once (though it had honestly taken him a while to figure that part out, the first time). He wondered if the Phantom Thieves had ever even thought of getting around the doors that way.

One of the things he needed from Mementos was to shake off the memory of the Phantom Thieves, really - make sure his reactions were back to remembering that he was fighting on his own, with no teammates to watch out for or to watch his back. That part - well, it hadn't been terrible. However, it could get him killed, now, if he forgot that it was over and done with. He refused to die again until he had killed Shido.

Besides practice, he needed money. The main expense was always curatives. Carrying so many was a pain, as was finding someone shady enough to sell a teenager the stronger restorative drugs who wouldn't either rat him out or try to use him in other ways, but not having what he needed in the metaverse could be literally deadly. Besides that, he needed better weapons and armor. He was lucky that his fantastical weapons worked for him, and he didn't need replicas of real weapons the way the Thieves had, but better-quality toys still worked better, and the best of those weren't cheap. He'd found a shop selling top-quality Featherman cosplay items, tailor-made by the owner, that worked really well for both weapons and armor. He quickly brushed aside the thought that Oracle would have loved it.

Luckily, some of the pawnshops and the recycling center he'd used to sell Mementos loot to were already open - the shadier places tended to spring up and vanish depending mostly on whether their proprietors had gotten in trouble with the law recently - but the bits and pieces he could find at the top of Mementos weren't worth much, and in many cases took more time and risk to store and sell than just spending that time killing shadows directly for yen, though he always needed the ones that were useful for making infiltration tools.

The next problem was where to store his expanding collection of metaverse-useful items. The Children's Home gave him very little storage space and even less privacy. The locker under his bed and his school bag were pretty much it, and both were periodically searched for contraband. He could explain away a box of bandages, but not much more than that. Expensive cosplay items and large amounts of cash would get him accused of stealing, the items confiscated, and possibly get him thrown out and reported to the police, even though there would be no report of such a theft, since he had actually bought the things. The stronger healing items would probably get him accused of taking drugs, or of dealing them, if they were found in large enough quantities.

Last time he had had a few close calls, but had been given more privacy after he started his work as the Detective Prince - and after he had sent Matron into a frenzy, one of his earlier experiments in using his power, and she'd been replaced by someone who was no better, but at least was _so_ useless she didn't even care enough to check on them. Then he had gone to Shido, and his new apartment, well, it had not had privacy either, but Shido's people wouldn't take away anything he'd marked as useful in the metaverse. None of that was helpful this time around - well, he considered giving Matron a psychotic breakdown again - she richly deserved it, and it would only get her fired, and he'd only said he wouldn't _kill_ again - but - he didn't think Arisato would approve, and it wasn't worth the potential argument.

Taking on the role of the Detective Prince wasn't a viable plan either. He could do it, obviously, and probably faster this time since he knew the people and the system much better now, but it would still take up a lot of time and came with a lot of downsides, most specifically the increased attention from law enforcement and the restricted movements, required perfect mask, and loss of anonymity that implied. The first time, it had been worth it, as Shido would never have talked to him in the first place without such a reputation. Also - well, he had liked the attention, and the praise, before he'd realized how hollow it was when based on lies. This time, that route remained possible if he needed it, but for now, he would be better served by anonymity, even if it meant he had to find some other way around the Home's restrictions.

He could use public coin lockers for a while, but they were too short-term for what he really needed. He eventually managed to find a bathhouse near a fairly central subway station that rented public lockers to their customers. Talking to the shadows of the employees netted him one that was mildly venal, but not too awful, and Goro bribed him to let him rent one of the lockers for as long as he continued to pay for it. Once he assured the man he was hiding cosplay items, which his guardians didn't approve of, rather than drugs, the man was fine with it, and even seemed amused. Goro noted the information about his other misdemeanors anyway, just in case he needed to intimidate the man later.

Goro's experiment with the pixie hadn't gotten him a new persona, but it had been useful. He periodically tried negotiating with other personas, when he could. He wasn't able to do a hold-up on his own of anything but very weak personas, and that only rarely. He continued to get some variation on what the pixie had said to him about his closed-off heart, at least when the negotiations succeeded at all, but they generally gave him something else as well, whether it was an immediate healing, a curative, or what seemed to be bottled, one-use spells. Those were worth trying to get, as while they were as weak as the personas he was talking to, they were still often things he couldn't otherwise cast at all, and even a very weak spell that hit a shadow's weakness was really helpful. Figuring out what any shadows' weaknesses were was a process of trial and error, of course, but he kept careful track of the ones he found, and Arisato knew quite a few of them, though some were not the same as he remembered.

Near the end of the second month of this, Goro managed to take down and negotiate with an odd little doll-like shadow with gecko hands and hair covering where its eyes should be. When he asked it to lend him its power, he expected the usual refusal.

Instead, it said, "I come from the Sea of Souls, the persona Obariyon. I will be on your side." It glowed, turned into light, and vanished into Goro's mask before he could stop gaping at it.

That was unexpected.

Having another persona felt odd. He was used to Loki and Robin Hood, but this other persona seemed to take up a different space in his mind, where he hadn't known there _was_ a space. The oddest part was how natural it felt. He knew which parts of himself were Robin Hood and Loki - given how they had come to him, it had been fairly obvious. This new one, Obariyon, felt like just another part of himself, except one he hadn't previously known was there, even though he had just seen it come into him from the outside.

Next time he dreamed of Arisato, he asked about it.

"Yes, that is exactly how it felt for me. And it creeped me out for a while, too. I wasn't at all sure inviting random monster creatures to become part of my mind was in _any_ way a good idea, no matter what Igor said. I came around pretty quickly when it became clear this was saving our lives, though." Arisato smiled at him. "I knew you could do it! May I see?"

Goro's skin felt hot. Arisato had continued to think he could do this, despite the failures? Why? To cover his confusion, he turned to trying to summon the new persona. He hadn't tried such a thing in these dreams before, but to his surprise, it was easy. Obariyon appeared between them for a moment, then faded back into him again.

"Hmm." Arisato made his considering noise. "Not one I've seen before, but it feels like a Fool arcana. That makes sense."

"Arcana?" Arisato had mentioned that before, but not gone into detail. The question got him a long explanation about Tarot, shadow classifications, and archetypes that sounded to Goro as if someone had taken Jungian psychology and Western mysticism and put them through a blender, which statement actually made Arisato laugh, and agree. Goro felt warm inside.

At the end of it, Goro asked, "Why did you say it makes sense, that the persona I got is of the Fool arcana?" He hoped that wasn't Arisato mocking him, calling him a fool. Arisato hadn't done so yet, but still.

Arisato smiled at him again. "People are often associated with specific arcana, too. The Fool represents the searcher, the one on a journey. It was my arcana."

Goro smiled, warm and pleased.


	7. In which Goro learns to hate mazes and applies critical thinking to his old mentor

After three months of preparation, Goro was ready to try Shido's Palace.

Getting into it was easy. Even if Goro hadn't had Shido's keywords burned into his memory, Shido handed them out in nearly every speech, if someone knew what they were looking for. He used that ship metaphor constantly. Goro wondered if anyone else was as sick of it as he was. Probably not, since they hadn't seen the reality of it in Shido's mind, as he had.

A giant cruise ship sailed through a drowning, dying city. When Goro had last seen it, going to confront the Phantom Thieves in Shido's Palace, the city had been entirely dead, but here and now a few windows were still lit in the upper levels of the sinking skyscrapers. Goro wondered if this signified some fading awareness in Shido that people besides his chosen existed, or if those were just future members of Shido's conspiracy he hadn't recruited yet. Probably the latter. If he'd ever cared about other people, he wouldn't have abandoned Goro's mother to shame and suicide.

The inside was as opulent as ever, though there were fewer cognitive guests, and different ones. Goro recognized several as people to whom he'd given mental shutdowns, once Shido had gotten enough use out of them and was ready to discard them. He moved on without looking further.

The doors to the assembly hall were locked, of course. What would eventually become the system of letters of introduction held by special shadows was currently simpler keys, but that still required fighting through the entire Palace to find them. Since there was every possibility some of the keys were held by specific shadows, he couldn't even sneak around and evade as many battles as possible, as he often did in more difficult palaces. Shido had made his mental defenses stronger over the years, especially once he had access to Isshiki's research, but his natural defenses were no joke. He kept his heart locked up tightly.

Goro smiled grimly and set to work.

In the blue room with Arisato that night, Goro spent what was probably at least fifteen minutes (if one could tell time in that timeless place) venting his frustration with the most inventive curses he could come up with. He hadn't even made it to the first safe room away from the doors. The shadows weren't as strong as they would be later, but they were strong enough to slow him down and drain his strength quickly, and the place was even more of a maze than he remembered. He'd gotten hit with a confusion spell while in a bunch of nearly identical hallways, and by the time it wore off he was completely lost. What he'd eventually found his way back to wasn't the end of the maze, but the beginning.

Goro wouldn't give up, obviously, but this looked to be a slow and frustrating process.

Arisato politely didn't laugh, though his eyes crinkled at the corners at around the fifth curse involving camels, needles, and sheep. Once Goro had realized he was starting to repeat himself, and stopped talking, Arisato changed the subject. "So, this 'change of heart' that the Phantom Thieves did. How does that work, exactly?"

Goro glared at him. "I'm not fooled." Then he sighed, and explained anyway. The Thieves had told him quite a bit about it, when they were trying to 'prove their justice' to him. Of course, he later found out they'd been onto him that whole time, so the information was a bit suspect, but it fit with what he'd observed himself. He'd certainly seen the aftereffects of a change of heart. Also, telling elaborate and constant lies was a good way to trip yourself up, and Joker, at least, was smart enough to know that. Most of what they'd told him was probably reasonably true, with some significant omissions. That would have been easier to keep straight.

And they had kept it all straight, for over a month while he'd been with them. He'd badly underestimated them - _all_ of them, not just Joker. Perhaps it didn't matter now, not when he had no intention of ever meeting any of them again, but he did not want to keep doing it, even in memory.

Arisato was looking disturbed at the description of the change of heart. "That - hmm. I don't quite know how I feel about that. Those people were clearly horrible, but going in and forcibly changing them - messing with their personalities on that fundamental a level - that's horrifying."

Goro admitted, "I wasn't only arguing against them for my role. It bothered me, too. Granted, I have no real standing to make moral judgements, but there's a reason why mind control is an 'evil' power in most stories. Although they were using it against much more evil people."

"That doesn't make it right." Arisato considered it. "Although there is also the question of what else they could have done. It sounds like they generally didn't have any conventional options that would work, and people were getting hurt. I approve of fighting back and trying to make things better - besides my principles, it's kind of in my job description - so I suppose it was the best of a bad set of options. That's frustrating."

Goro was distracted by that. "Your job description?"

"Oh. The monster I'm sealing - it's less a physical monster and more a concept, the manifestation of humanity's desire for death, called Erebus. The more people give up, give in and just wait to die, the stronger it gets. If it ever gets strong enough to overwhelm me, it will call down Nyx, the death of all that lives. So you see why I prefer it when people refuse to give up."

Goro did see. Arisato was amazing.

Not all of Goro's conversations with Arisato ended up in such heavy topics. One night a few weeks later, for example, he had a complaint.

"You know what the worst part is about this time-travelling thing? I've already seen all the new Featherman episodes that will come out for the next _two years_!"

He'd hoped to make Arisato smile, and he did, but he hadn't expected his eyes to light up like that. "You like Featherman? What's happening in the new season?"

Goro could happily talk about Featherman for ages, so just like that, they had a new topic. Arisato had only actually seen one season, but he was happy to hear about the others as well. Eventually, Goro asked why.

Arisato smiled a little sheepishly. "One of my teammates, Ken, really liked Featherman. He was a lot younger than the rest of us, though, and worried about being perceived as childish, so he tried to pretend he didn't. Once I figured it out, I'd turn on Featherman myself, so he could watch with me and pretend he was just being polite. It started as merely a kindness to him, but, well -" He shrugged. "I got hooked, too. It was a fun show. I'd intended to go find the previous seasons once I had a little more time, but I didn't get the chance."

Goro couldn't fix that - it wasn't like this dream place had a TV - but he could fill in some of what Arisato was missing. He seemed to enjoy talking about it, at least.

That also answered a question Goro hadn't quite gotten up the courage to ask, before. Given which season had been on in the year before Arisato died, that had been eight years ago - or six, now that Goro was two years backwards. He'd been all alone since then.

Goro also periodically had much less pleasant dreams, of being in the tiny oubliette while the Voice talked at him. At first, they were as he remembered them, with cryptic pronouncements, encouragement that he was on the right path, and occasional actual useful information about the metaverse - that was where he had gotten most of the names of things, the fact that there were specific palaces separate from Mementos, and the Voice had been the one to tell him that he could change someone's palace by changing their cognition of him in the real world. Once, he had been very grateful for even this weird sort of attention, but now, he couldn't help comparing the Voice's information to the abbreviated "how the metaverse works" spiel the Phantom Thieves had given him when he joined them. Apparently, an amnesiac cat's memories plus a few months of experience gave them a lot more information than the Voice had, or else his enemies were more willing to tell him things than this being, which kept saying it was on his side.

Neither option said good things about the Voice, or inclined him to listen to its opinions the way he had before.

Which turned out to be good, since the Voice was not happy with him at this point. While he had been focusing on Mementos, it had been prodding at him to explore what else he could do with his new power. Now that he was working on Shido, it talked about how long and uncertain this path was and how there was an easier way, if he was smart enough to find it. (Goro did not appreciate that jab - or the attempted manipulation.) He had tried another way, one which the Voice had approved of, even helped with, and it was both horrible and had not actually worked, so he ignored the Voice's hints. He had no idea how a disembodied voice could give the impression that it was sulking, but somehow, in the latest dream, it had managed.

Goro was still being polite to it - no sense angering the powerful whatever-it-was if he didn't need to, and it _had_ been helpful the first time, when he knew nothing - but he much preferred his dreams of Arisato. When he dreamed of the Voice now, he listened to what it said, gave the ceiling his best charming smile, thanked the Voice for its advice, and then woke up and went right back to what he had already been doing.

At least this probably meant he wasn't in an illusionary world of the Voice's crafting. The Voice would presumably have more control of him if he was. At this point he was tentatively willing to believe this was harsh enough to all be real, somehow - or at least, if it was a dream, it was one his own mind was creating, rather than someone else - but he couldn't actually prove it either way, so he still kept all the possibilities in the back of his mind, and kept an eye out for evidence. Just in case.

He would not be manipulated again if he could prevent it.


	8. In which there is the first of many talks about morality and we start earning the trigger warnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Description of verbal abuse, mention of suicide and murder.

Goro slogged on through Shido's Palace as the weeks passed. He'd gone through plenty of Palaces before in much less time, but Shido's twisty mind manifested in constant mazes of endless hallways, and he had to fight his way down all of them looking for the hidden keys. The layout had actually simplified a lot later on, possibly because he'd gone with fewer but stronger defenses when he had more intentional control, or possibly because Shido had taken to dealing with his problems more directly - or rather, having Goro do so. Goro was strong enough now relative to the shadows in this Palace that he was rarely in deadly danger, but it took so much time.

And as he was reminded one night, he only had so much time each day, in between school and his curfew at the children's home.

It had been a frustrating Palace run, where he had, once again, been hit with confusion, just as he thought he'd been nearing the end of his current maze and had been intending to head back soon. Confusion was always dangerous, but in the mazes, Goro hated it even more than usual, since with no one around to snap him out of it, he would run randomly through the halls until it wore off, meaning that besides whatever damage he inflicted on himself and useful things he cast aside or used foolishly, he was also inevitably lost when he became aware again. Finding his way again took time, and since it had already been late, it was past curfew by the time he made it back to the Home.

Sneaking in late was a skill all the boys mastered soon after they arrived, but it didn't always work. In particular, it didn't work when Matron was _right there_ , getting drunk by the back stairway with the door open to watch for boys being where they shouldn't be (usually the kitchen - there was never enough food).

Having caught him by the arm, right over a bruise from the metaverse, she dragged him into her office and proceeded to give him her favorite rant, about how the unwanted boys in her care were worthless drains on society who would never amount to anything; troublesome, noisy brats, the trash of the world, inevitably criminals, they were lucky they weren't already homeless. He'd heard this enough to mostly tune her out, but this time, she seemed to pick up on that, because she tailored her rant to him. She accused him of cheating, since no one like him could be getting good grades legitimately, then of missing curfew because he was drinking, or doing drugs, or doing "indecent conduct," which was the most mealy-mouthed sexual insult he'd ever heard, an oddity in the otherwise profanity-laden list. Finally, she screamed in his face that it was no wonder his mother had killed herself in shame because of him, and it was only a pity she hadn't taken him with her.

That seemed to be enough for her, since she let him go in order to go back to her drinking.

Goro stumbled up the stairs to his bed in a white-hot rage. He'd hated Matron since he'd come here at thirteen, and had known her opinion of him and all the others, but having that thrown at him - particularly about his mother - oh, he _burned_. Last time, when he'd been experimenting with and learning about his power, he had found her shadow and used his frenzy spell on her - not that her behavior had actually been that unusual for her, but it had happened in front of witnesses, enough to get her fired. He still knew where her shadow was, or could easily find it. He could go back to Mementos, put a bullet through her raving shadow's head, end her rants and her canings and her stinginess with food permanently. It would be so _easy_. It was so tempting. She didn't deserve to live.

But he'd told Arisato he wouldn't kill again, except for Shido himself.

That thought hit him like a bucket of cold water. What was he _thinking_? He'd - somehow, by some miracle - been given a second chance he did not deserve. All his murder victims were alive and well, all his crimes erased as if they had never been, and he was contemplating starting again? Wasting it all, spilling more blood?

But he still hated, and he still wanted to.

Goro lay awake a long time that night.

When he finally slept, and dreamed of Arisato, he blurted out the whole story.

"Am I just irredeemable? I'm not working for Shido, I don't need to kill for him - but I still want to kill her, without even the thin justification that I'm under orders!"

Arisato took it calmly. "No, you are not. She was unpardonably cruel to you -" _There_ was the anger, although - it didn't seem to be directed at him? "- of course you are angry. It makes sense that you would jump to solutions that have worked for you in the past. Still, remember this: even though you wanted to, you didn't do it. You chose not to, chose to be different now. You can do this."

Goro stared at him, bewildered. "How can you be so calm about all of this? I'm talking about murdering someone - murdering _yet another_ person, even if the others are somehow not dead now. How can you just take that in stride? How can you believe -" He couldn't articulate what Arisato seemed to believe. It was too impossible.

"I believe in you," Arisato said. Goro couldn't respond. He continued, "As for being calm - the situation isn't entirely foreign to me." He paused, seemed to debate something in his mind. "You do need to know. One of my teammates tried to murder one of the others, Shinjiro. He'd joined the team for that reason, in fact, to get revenge for Shinjiro's accidental killing of his - Ken's - mother years before. The only reason he didn't succeed in his plan is that Shinjiro was killed by someone else first - in the act of protecting Ken, actually. Things got complicated, but Ken talked to me about it, a bit, after it was over. He said - the part that seems relevant to you, anyway - he said he still felt like a murderer, afterwards. Even though he couldn't be punished for it in a normal way, because circumstances had prevented it, he had been going to go through with his plan, and regardless of what had actually happened, he himself was different because of it. It was hard, knowing that about himself, but he had to - to move forward. It motivated him to try harder to change, to become a person worthy of Shinjiro's sacrifice, to do good things in the world to try to pay for the bad things."

Arisato paused again. Goro had no idea what to say. He had not expected anything like this, and had no idea where Arisato was going with this conversation.

"I suppose - I'm trying to say - " Arisato looked frustrated, and tried again. "Akechi, those people you killed may not be dead now, in this - this timeline, but they were real. Their deaths were - are - real. What you did makes you a different person now than you were the first time you were fifteen, when you had not killed anyone, and even if you weren't, they were still important, in and of themselves. What you did has not been erased."

Goro couldn't breathe. Was Arisato finally rejecting him, as he had expected he would from the start? It was about time, but oh, it _hurt_. Still, it was also - right. Validating? Hearing from Arisato that his past, his crimes, were still real, not erased or unimportant just because of this second chance - that felt true. Even if he also felt as if he might shatter like glass at any moment.

Arisato continued, "But that different person - who you are now - has decided to make different choices. You chose to focus only on Shido, to not hurt anyone else, and you have kept to that resolution, even when they hurt you first or are acting as obstacles to your goal. I believe you can change, be the person you want to be, not just what Shido made you into, intentionally and not." He paused again. "One of the books I read summed it up in a way I've never been able to forget: You are what you do. Choose again, and change." When Goro didn't say anything, Arisato's expression changed, becoming - hesitant? "I - I believe in you."

Goro still couldn't respond. No one had ever said that to him before, at least in any way that wasn't false and manipulative. But from Arisato - he actually believed he meant it. And Goro - was he crying? He might be crying. Arisato looked concerned, and moved over to him, putting a hand over his. Goro couldn't feel it, but he could see the motion. It was like - well - being touched by a ghost, except it wasn't cold. It was comforting.

They stayed like that for the rest of that night's dream. Goro never did manage to say anything, but Arisato didn't seem to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what has Minato been reading? Mirror Dance, by Lois McMaster Bujold. That's Miles, the protagonist, talking to Mark, who is - a kid being used by his villainous father-figure as his assassin. Huh. I didn't mean it to be quite so on-the-nose, but it does work out, doesn't it?


	9. In which Goro considers his options

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: a long section of this chapter is Goro trying to work out what he’ll do. So warning for revenge, murder, suicidal thoughts, messed-up morals, and the general screwed-up-ness that is Goro being Goro.

Goro woke up without the burning desire to kill Matron, anyway. That left him free to focus on his burning desire to kill Shido. He had no idea why Arisato believed he could change, when that goal was unaltered.

Maybe Arisato was trying to get him to change it. That thought made him furious. Shido had ruined his mother's life, resulting in her death, abandoned Goro to the untender care of the series of foster homes and group homes that got him this far, and then when he'd met him again, used him as his assassin until he was no longer useful, then discarded and killed him. Even putting aside everything he'd done to others - which was a _lot_ \- Goro had every right to hate him. Shido had been killing people or ruining their lives via his criminal connections long before the metaverse became a factor - a fair court might well give him the death penalty right now. He deserved to die.

Goro smashed his way through the next Palace maze that day - being angry enough to curse helped with curse spells, the metaverse was so literal sometimes - and when he dreamed of Arisato that night, he just came right out and asked. Well. Yelled, if he was being accurate.

"Are you trying to stop me from killing Shido?!"

Arisato's constant calm was infuriating sometimes. Like now. He just blinked once, and responded, "No? Not exactly, anyway."

That was not helping Goro's temper. "Not exactly!" he yelled. "He's a monster! A list of his crimes would take all night! He deserves to die! Do not try to manipulate me!" Goro was on his feet, now, yelling down at Arisato, still on the couch.

Something about this at least cracked Arisato's calm. Goro quickly discovered that Arisato actually had a very effective glare. Goro was still mad enough to glare right back.

"Akechi. I am not trying to manipulate you." Arisato had a very effective angry voice, too - not all that loud, but intense, it got the point across nicely. When Goro opened his mouth to deny his words, Arisato cut him off. "I agree that Shido is horrible. You've told me enough that I hate him, too, and I've never even met him. He has to be stopped, and you have the right - maybe even the responsibility - to do it."

Goro could feel the 'but - ' coming, some stupid platitude about ethics and justice like he would expect from the Phantom Thieves. He was too angry to care about any of that. He wondered if it was possible to storm out of a dream - he might be finding out very shortly.

"But I don't care about him. I care about you." What? That was not what Goro had expected.

Arisato sighed, and the anger dropped from his face, leaving him looking just - sad, maybe. "I won't deny that I don't want you to kill him, but I can't - I won't - tell you what to do. Maybe killing him is even the best option for you, I don't know, none of the options I can see are any good. But - whatever you decide - please, just - make a decision you can live with, afterwards. Please."

Goro felt cold. _Oh_. Of course Arisato had seen that, though he'd never actually told him. Arisato was perceptive, and this was directly in his sphere, anyway. Goro's anger died. "I - I'll do my best," he promised.

Of course, that brought up the next question. What _could_ he live with?

Goro thought about that, as he continued through Shido's palace. He didn't know the answer. After drawing a blank, he tried a more basic question. Looking at the situation as dispassionately as he could, what were his options?

First of all, what he most wanted to do: kill Shido. He could do it, with a mental shutdown. The palace was frustrating, but he was sure now that he could get through it and find and kill Shido's shadow. That was by far the most satisfying option - his hatred insisted it was the _only_ satisfying option. His mother and he would be avenged, as would the Isshiki family and everyone else who had been hurt or killed by Shido, now and before. It was the surest option, as well - with Shido dead, none of his future crimes would take place. He'd already done more than enough to warrant this, even without those.

He forced his feelings back and made himself think through the next part: downsides of killing Shido. Arisato didn't want him to do it. He hadn't said he would withdraw his offer of friendship if Goro went through with it, but he probably would. Goro's chest constricted painfully at that thought, but this part was not about his feelings, so he pushed that aside and went on. Other downsides: it was fast and anonymous. That had been a positive, before, but in terms of punishing Shido for anything, it wasn't. He wouldn't suffer at all. His future crimes would be prevented, but his past ones would probably be buried with him - Goro certainly couldn't trust the police to find them, when he knew how deeply they were in Shido's pocket. That was - actually a pretty significant downside. Were there more?

Well, why did Arisato not want him to do it? Presumably because he had a properly functioning moral compass - unlike Goro himself, he had been assured on multiple occasions, before he learned to hide it - and regarded murder as wrong. Alright, Goro knew it was wrong, too. He just also thought that people were hypocrites, and murderers and monsters - like Shido - deserved to die. Still, that wasn't actually what Arisato had said, was it? He'd seemed oddly more concerned about the effect on Goro himself. What would it do to him? It was just one more murder in a long string of them, and the most deserved of all. _Oh_. It would be - it would be murder, still, in this new life, this new chance - continuing on his old path instead of changing it. Still, would that really matter? Goro had long since gotten over the naive idea that revenge on Shido would somehow fix him, put all the broken pieces into place. He was already irreparably broken. It would be worth it to do a little more damage, for the revenge he'd worked for so long.

Wouldn't it?

That question felt disturbing, somehow, so he left it and went on. Option two: Goro's original plan, what the news people in the old timeline had called a psychotic breakdown. In his own mind, Goro had usually called it the frenzying spell. It had been his first plan mostly because it had been the only thing he knew how to do, back when he had started all this, but it would actually be pretty satisfying, too, to cause Shido to ruin his own ambitions with a scandal but leave him his twisted self, able to see it and suffer. If it worked. That was the main downside of that plan: the frenzying spell was chaotic by nature, and Goro didn't really have much control over what it did to any particular person. His best guess was that it broke their normal self-control, pushing them to follow whatever their impulses told them to do. It didn't surprise him at all that most people's hidden impulses were violent. Still, while he could probably time the frenzy so that it happened in public, he had no idea what form it would take with Shido. It might be so minor he could suppress all mention of it afterwards, or his bodyguards might stop him before much happened, or he might grab a bodyguard's weapon and immediately start killing random people.

Those were the deaths he felt guiltiest about, honestly, besides Isshiki and a few others like her that were pretty much normal - if very stressed - people who were in Shido's way. The majority of the people he had directly killed had been Shido's rivals, in the same dirty business as he was, or outright co-conspirators who were no longer useful or had tried to challenge Shido's control. The co-conspirators, especially, had been fairly easy to justify to himself. However, the victims of the people he'd frenzied to cause scandals, the other deaths in car accidents when he'd accidentally hit someone while they were driving, and worst of all, the deaths in the train accidents he'd deliberately caused when Shido decided to take down the Minister of Transportation via scandal rather than direct attack - they were just normal people. While Goro had no particular liking for the general mass of humanity, and if he had met any of them individually it probably wouldn't have taken long for him to want them to go die, still - they had no part in this. He'd done it, and put his guilt aside, because anything, absolutely anything, was worth it to bring Shido down.

It was not worth it now, not if it only _might_ bring Shido down.

There was a second downside to frenzying Shido, and that was the potential consequences. Attacking him with what could easily be only a minor scandal would leave most of his resources intact, along with the will to use them, and Shido would be vicious in his response. While Goro was perfectly willing to die for his revenge, it was unlikely Shido would connect him to the attack, which meant he would go after someone else. If he turned on his allies, fine, but Shido already knew about Isshiki's research. It was all too possible that he would recognize it as a cognitive attack, assume it had been her or someone using her research, and go after her. Goro really, _really_ did not want Isshiki to die again, and he wanted it to be his fault again even less.

All in all, frenzying Shido was not a good option.

Third option, then: changing his heart. Goro's first impulse was to reject the idea immediately, but he was trying to think through his options logically, so he forced himself to try again. The entire concept disturbed him quite viscerally - he himself would vastly prefer to be murdered outright than to have his mind invaded by someone else and rearranged to their liking. His mind was the only thing in his life that had always been entirely his, that could not be taken away from him at someone else's whim - except, with a change of heart, it could be. He knew that if he had had a palace and a treasure the Phantom Thieves could have stolen, they would have done it rather than take the risk of getting their leader arrested, and the treasure would almost certainly have been something to do with getting revenge on Shido. That was the driving force of his life - who would he be, with it ripped out of him? Would he even be the same person at all, or would the person he had been be effectively dead, with a puppet left behind to wear his face?

(If it was a fate worse than death, who deserved that more than Shido?)

He knew his own moral sense was not the best, but Arisato had been disturbed by the idea, too. Although he had then said it was the best of a bad set of options, which was hardly a ringing endorsement, but not complete condemnation, either, and the Phantom Thieves had also had the option of killing their targets, though they seemed to have dismissed the idea out of hand.

How much of his own dislike of the idea was because it was what the Phantom Thieves would have done?

Alright, perhaps there were some upsides to this option. It was nearly as sure as killing Shido, in terms of being likely to work and in preventing future crimes, at least as long as the Phantom Thieves hadn't hidden any steps from him. He'd been with them in Mementos, both watching from hiding and openly as part of the group, and those had all happened as they'd said, but he'd worked out enough of the tricks they must have pulled with Nijima's palace that he couldn't be entirely certain he'd seen everything needed to change the heart of someone with a full palace. Still, he doubted they'd have lied about the process, since he could have (should have) verified it himself, even if he hadn't realized at the time that they knew he could. That he actually hadn't was pure overconfidence on his part.

Another upside it shared with a mental shutdown: it was not chaotic. It targeted Shido himself, and no one else. There was actually less potential for collateral damage, as it seemed less sudden, so even if he were, for some reason, driving rather than being driven, he was unlikely to cause an accident. Goro could be even more certain of this by choosing a time when he was at home, as this did not need to be public. Shido should see to that himself. Seeing Shido confess all his crimes himself would also be extremely satisfying, and might even get some justice for his past victims - or at least, some emotional satisfaction for them. Hoping for actual justice from Japan's justice system was a pipe dream, in his opinion.

Thinking of that, he supposed that was another option - to not use the cognitive world at all, or at least, only for information, and try to go through the regular channels of the justice system. While he knew he could get the Detective Prince role back if he tried, it wouldn't actually help much with this - the police had lauded him in public, but in private generally considered him a kid useful for PR and paperwork and not much else. The Detective Prince would be easy for Shido to tear apart, if he came out against him openly. That meant that in order to pursue this option Goro would have to join the police the slow way, after years of schooling, then work his way up to a point where he could take on Shido and have the power base to win. That would take decades, while Shido continued on with his ambitions and his crimes and no one did anything to stop him. He might even manage to use Isshiki's research to let someone else act as his cognitive assassin in Goro's place. For all that time, Goro wouldn't be able to do anything against him, since Shido finding out about him prematurely would mean failure and death, and leave Shido free to continue on. Worse, that was the most likely outcome - almost certain, given how much of the justice system Shido had already corrupted, on top of how corrupt it was even without his influence. No, there were good reasons why he had regarded that as an unviable option from the beginning.

Were there any other options?

Well, technically, yes, there was one more. He could do nothing. Shido didn't know about him, the Phantom Thieves didn't exist yet, and no one knew he could access the metaverse except dream-people. He'd tried to do something last time, and screwed it all up royally. He could, if he chose, look away, pretend he knew nothing more than he was supposed to, and join the mass of bystanders who allowed Shido and the rest of the monsters like him to get away with their crimes, willfully blind.

Goro smashed an empty vase apart in rage the moment he had that thought. Arisato had asked about what he could live with - well, he knew for certain that that option, he could not. He hated - not as much as he hated Shido, but a lot - the people who did nothing. Who looked at Shido's surface facade and applauded and gave him more power, even as they looked down on Goro and his mother as worthless and shameful and gave them nothing but scorn. Who had been fooled by Goro's own plastic smile, praised the Detective Prince and loved his _inspiring story_ , without any awareness of its hollowness or any suggestion of help for any other children who were still in those conditions. Who had praised and attacked him and the Phantom Thieves in turn, wherever Shido led the current trend, without ever thinking any of it through at all. There were _so many_ like that. When Goro looked at it in those terms, he hated them all, the _entire world_ , and he wanted to _destroy Shido by just burning it all down_!

Goro took a deep breath, and let it out again slowly. Arisato was still, for some reason, trying to keep the world alive. It would be poor repayment for his kindness to work against that. He also didn't want Isshiki to die, or Oracle.

So, his options. He hadn't actually made any decisions, but out of five options, two were untenable and one was unbearable. That was progress, of a sort. He didn't have all the keys yet. He had some time to think about it.

Goro put the topic to the back of his mind and concentrated on getting through the palace. The engine room already existed; he searched it as quickly as possible, trying his best to think of nothing the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Here's a list to keep track of: the list of People Goro (Will Admit He) Doesn't Want Dead. Arisato (already a ghost), Isshiki (he didn't really know her, this is mostly guilt talking), and Oracle (same, though he did rather like her). His progress can pretty much be measured by the length and strength of this list, as is proper for a persona protagonist.
> 
> Also noted: Those five options are the ones Goro thinks of; there are others he didn't think of, but then, this is his point of view. For example, he could ask for help - use the metaverse not just to find out who is working for Shido, but which prosecutors and police are trustworthy, as well as where to look for evidence, and try to bring him down in the real world that way. This is never going to occur to him, because in his worldview there is no such thing as a trustworthy adult, nor would he think that anyone might help him, despite Minato's best efforts.


	10. In which Goro calls his old man out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for canon-typical mind control.

When Goro found the last key, it actually caught him by surprise. He'd known he was close to the end, of course, there weren't really that many more places to look, and yet - he hadn't expected it to be _now_. He wasn't ready - hadn't made a decision - wasn't ready for this to end yet.

He firmly pulled his scattered thoughts together. He couldn't do anything right now, anyway; he was almost at his limit for the day, and this was a battle he needed to be absolutely prepared for. Whatever he chose to do, he _could not_ fail. He checked the last few places in the palace for treasure chests, then headed out. By the time he got back to the Home he was too keyed up to sleep, though he tried. He hoped to dream of Arisato - in the week since their argument, he'd dreamed of him twice, and Arisato had treated him the same as ever and helped with a palace puzzle - but neither of them had brought up the topic of what Goro would choose to do again.

He hoped he wouldn't dream of the tiny stone room - he tried not to think of it as an oubliette - with the sourceless voice. The first time through, it had helped, to have someone's approval, especially after things like the first time he'd used the frenzying spell on a human shadow and found out what that did, or during and after making the decision to join Shido in order to bring him down, or after - well, after Isshiki. He'd clung to the Voice's support, after that, in order to keep going. The dreams of the Voice had become more and more infrequent now, though, as he kept on with Shido's palace despite the Voice's disapproval. He was glad of it. Arisato was much more helpful, and kind, and much more, well, trustworthy.

When he finally slept, his only dreams were nightmares.

It was summer vacation by this point, so Goro did not have school or homework to distract him in the morning. As soon as he could, he headed out to replenish all his stocks of curatives - plus some extras, just in case - and anything else that might be useful. He checked the political news, and as far as he could tell, Shido didn't have any major events scheduled for the next few days. Goro kept going, looking for more vending machines - even the most useless drinks still helped a bit - or different shops with other potentially useful items. Maybe he should go back to Mementos, train more, get more spells and curatives, wait until he'd dreamed of Arisato again -

Goro stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, then had to hurriedly move out of the way as people bumped into him. He put his back to a wall and thought hard. He was stalling. He was putting off making a decision - more than that, whatever he did, he was putting off ending all of this. Why? Was he afraid?

The answer to that came quickly, and he was disgusted with himself for it. Yes, he was afraid. A little afraid of failing, but more of succeeding, because then - well, he would have gotten his revenge. His life had revolved around that goal for so long - what happened after that -

Goro stopped himself again. This was intolerable. He had used anger to shove aside guilt for so long, he could use it to shove fear aside too. Whatever happened afterwards, he could not allow Shido to continue with his crimes any longer merely because he was afraid.

In the meantime, he had two choices. He could go in and kill Shido's shadow, or he could send a calling card and take Shido's treasure. What would Arisato say? Goro still wanted Shido dead - wanted to kill him for his mother, for himself - wanted to see him suffer, brought low and apologizing - wanted to be better, to change and be what Arisato believed he could be - wanted to destroy everything Shido had done, and all reminders of Goro's own crimes - wanted to save Isshiki, and Oracle, and all future victims - wanted justice done - wanted to burn this unjust world - wanted Arisato to be proud of him, and to fulfill his promise to choose something he could live with - wanted to do worse to Shido than kill him - wanted Shido to know who was destroying him - wanted revenge - wanted justice -

In the end, he wasn't even sure what had tipped the scales. Perhaps all of it. Still, he had made his decision.

Goro went into the nearest electronics shop and bought a cheap, pay-as-you-go phone, with the minimum number of minutes on it, paying cash. He was already in an area of the city where he didn't normally go, and Shido’s protections against anyone recording anything that might be used as blackmail against him were quite effective, so on his way to the train station, he found a quiet corner and dialed Shido's personal phone number, the one he hadn't changed in years because he only gave it out to people who were very high in his organization - and he always answered it himself.

"Yes, what is it?"

Goro froze for a second, hearing Shido's cold voice again. The next, impatient "Well?" from the phone jolted him back into motion. He had to function now.

"Masayoshi Shido."

Shido started angrily saying, "Who is -" but Goro cut him off, almost gleeful as he dared to interrupt him for the first time.

"I will steal your distorted, disgusting heart, Father." He hadn't planned to say the last word, but as he hung up on whatever Shido might have said, he couldn't help but be glad. He'd wanted Shido to know it was him, the child he'd abandoned, who would bring him down and make him pay for his crimes. As he stomped on the phone, breaking it to pieces, especially the chip inside, and dropped it all in the nearest dumpster, Goro felt almost euphoric. _This_ was what he'd wanted, the power to bring down the villain, what he'd dreamed of doing when he first found the power of persona.

The feeling lasted all the way to the Diet building, into Shido's palace, and to the doors of the assembly hall. Goro took a deep breath and checked all his weapons again. This was it.

The hall was empty of shadows or cognitions when Goro went in, but the treasure was there, a huge, floating ship's steering wheel. Goro almost panicked, wondering if he'd done something wrong and that was why it was so huge, but he calmed himself quickly. It was Shido, after all, he always had to believe himself bigger and better than anyone else. Taking it by himself would be impossible in the real world, but here, it would merely be awkward and difficult.

As Goro was sighting out where to attach the grappling hook, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and so was not entirely surprised when the doors slammed closed and Shido's shadow made a dramatic appearance on the dais.

This was the part that Goro had been simultaneously looking forward to and dreading, the direct confrontation with Shido's shadow. He'd imagined a lot of ways it could go, mostly involving finally throwing his defiance in Shido's face, but he had also had a number of nightmares where the shadow killed him, or Goro tried to say his lines and Shido was better with words, making him feel humiliated and childish, or worse, Shido offered him his approval and called him to heel and he just - did it, gave in, and the pretense of following Shido became reality.

They stared at each other for a tense moment, Goro looking up at Shido's shadow, and finally the shadow spoke.

"Hmph. So, you're the thief who says you're my son? Well, you do look very like your mother, and Akechi did claim she was pregnant. Still, son or no, you're worthless unless you're of use to me."

Goro forgot whatever he'd been planning to say. Shido could tell just by looking? Did that mean he had always known, even before? Goro had thought he could not hate Shido any more than he already did, but that - apparently, he could.

"I hate you, Shido. You killed my mother, turned me into a monster, and I will _tear you apart_!"

Well. That covered the important points, anyway.

Sometimes, when he'd been trying to kill a palace ruler, he'd been able shoot from cover and run away and come back, wearing them down slowly and relatively safely, but the room was transforming into a flat space, with no cover and nowhere to run. So, it would be a straight-up fight then. Despite the fact that that increased the difficulty, he was viciously glad of it.

However, he could not let his anger make him careless. He dropped into the mindset that let him kill other targets with a clear head. Anger shoved away all other emotions in his mind, then was itself set aside, leaving cold focus. Emotions were for later. Now, there was a target in his sights, just shifting into its monstrous form.

Overall, the fight was rather anticlimactic. The most difficult fight he'd ever done, certainly - he dodged barely in time to avoid being killed so many times he lost count, and used up his entire stock of healing items and extra spells as he fought through Shido's multiple forms - but it was still basically all things he'd done before. This was why he'd trained so hard, after all. The things the shadow said were not new, either - he knew Shido's vileness very well, but now, the reverse was not true. The future Shido had been very good at getting under his skin, and his shadow presumably would have shared that, but this one didn't know him at all. Aside from that first comment about his mother, nothing it said bothered him.

Finally, it was done, and Goro had his gun pointed at Shido's head. He almost pulled the trigger just from muscle memory, before remembering that he had made the choice to steal his heart, instead.

He almost pulled the trigger anyway. Shido was _right there_ , on the ground before him. He could kill him and have his revenge. He thought of finding his mother, trying to get her to wake, when she never would. He thought of Isshiki's grave and Oracle trapped in her own mind. He thought of Arisato, telling him he believed in him. Oddly, he thought of Joker, blood running down his face as he died.

Goro breathed in, and out, and pulled back.

"Go back to yourself, confess your crimes, and face your punishment."

The shadow's resistance was broken. "Yes, I must confess. I've committed such horrible crimes - I'm so sorry, my son."

With that, the shadow dispersed into the air, leaving Goro staring at the place it had been. As soon as it was gone, he unloaded all his remaining ammo into the floor where it had stood, then punched the wall and screamed.

The wall gave way, which reminded him of the part where palaces collapsed at this point. The room was already making unsettling groaning noises. The treasure seemed to have decided to cooperate for once, shrinking down and dropping to the floor. Goro picked it up and ran for the exit.

As he avoided falling ceilings and encroaching water, escaping the sinking ship just in time and rolling out into the real world with a Diet pin clutched in his hand, Goro realized that, with what breath he could spare, he was laughing.


	11. In which there is angst and characterization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goro won, yay! He's still not ok. Warning for suicidal thoughts.

Two days later, Goro wandered Inokashira Park, unsure of what to do with himself. On his phone was a brief news article about how noted politician Masayoshi Shido had collapsed in his home and been taken to a private hospital, well wishes, etc. As far as he could tell that was on track - most of the Phantom Thieves' targets had spent some time unwell before the change of heart took effect. He had Shido's treasure in his pocket. At this point, as far as he knew, there was nothing else for him to do but wait - and worry.

He had not dreamed of Arisato since before taking Shido's treasure. Logically, that was not unusual, the timing of the dreams was not under either of their control, and there had often been delays of more than three days between dreams. Still, what if the dreams had been tied to his quest to take down Shido, somehow, and now they would stop? What if Arisato did have some control and didn't want to see him again because of the choice Goro had made? What if -

He cut off that line of thought sharply. There was nothing he could do about the dreams, or to change what he had done. There were plenty of other things to worry about.

He had expected that he would worry that the change of heart hadn't worked, but he had seen the palace crumble around him. Goro wasn't going to call it certain until Shido was in jail (or dead, his conspiracy might turn on him if he started naming them to the police - Goro wouldn't be particularly upset with that result, really), but he knew that he had been effective.

That left the next worry - what now?

Arisato had asked him - pleaded with him, even - to choose a course of action he could live with, afterwards. Goro wasn't at all sure he could live with what he'd done before he ever got to that point, now that he didn't have his revenge to focus on.

When he'd started this, he had had naive dreams of being the hero, going on an undercover operation, defeating his evil father and saving those he had oppressed. He'd known going in that it was dangerous, that he could die at any point in his plan, but he had regarded the risk as worth it, to bring Shido to justice. As he'd gotten in deeper, that had changed, gotten darker. Seeing what Shido was really like up close, doing his dirty work, Goro had become certain he would die, doing this. He only hoped he would last long enough to drag Shido down with him. By that point, he couldn't get out and live, anyway. It was still worth it.

Then came Isshiki. Shido had ordered him to kill her shadow, but not told him what that would do to her. In retrospect, he had been stupid not to figure it out for himself, but he had been killing normal non-human shadows for more than six months, at that point. There were always more of the same, no matter how many he killed - he'd thought they were reforming, maybe after a couple of days, and he assumed that would happen to Isshiki, too. He'd kill her shadow, it would hurt her somehow, as Shido wanted - maybe she'd be very depressed, the opposite of his frenzying spell, maybe even be in the hospital unconscious for a few days - and then her shadow would reform, and she'd be fine, though warier of crossing Shido again. Instead, she died, and Goro was suddenly a murderer.

He'd hated himself almost as much as he hated Shido, by that point. His options from there were continue or die, and he'd convinced himself that continuing would in a way be for her - if he died without bringing down Shido, her death would be for nothing, but if he succeeded, he would avenge her. He _had_ to make this be worth it.

He was not quite certain when he had realized he no longer had any delusions that he was the hero. This story did not seem to have a hero (he refused to concede the position to Joker - Sae Nijima, maybe, if she'd gotten herself back on track after that mess with her palace). Shido had the villain's position locked up. What that left Goro was the role of the villain's pet monster, the one that killed the villain in the end in revenge for mistreatment, allowing the hero's hands to stay clean. The monster always died in the process.

It had been something he experienced less as a decision and more as an inevitability - he would do whatever it took to live long enough to get revenge, to kill Shido. If he was not killed by a shadow or by one of Shido's co-conspirators or cleaners in the process, well, he was a murderer and a monster, and murderers and monsters deserved to die. If no one else managed to kill him, he would simply have to do it himself. It wasn't as if he didn't know how to kill by now. Goro had not precisely thought it through that neatly, but the awareness had been there, behind the burning need for revenge. It had been, in its own way, a comfort.

Now, well, his past actions had not changed. Neither had his feelings on the subject, really. What was different was Arisato - his friendship, his help, his request. Arisato was the only person to ever offer Goro friendship that was not based on lies. Assuming Goro could keep dreaming of him, he would. He refused to abandon Arisato, leave him trapped in his memory alone. Besides that, Goro could not repay all of Arisato's help by turning around and strengthening the monster Arisato sealed, which gained power from people giving up and choosing death. All of which meant that however Goro felt about it, whatever he deserved, that option was closed to him. He _had_ to fight to live.

How would he even do that?

Goro sat down by the edge of the lake and pulled out his phone, just for something to do with his hands. He found the whole idea bewildering. He'd had plans, once, he thought; goals that did not involve revenge on Shido. He couldn't remember what any of them had been, or why he'd cared about them. He was so _tired_. What would he do with a life?

Goro stared out over the lake, contemplating the alien idea of having a future.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he did not realize he had company until it was too late, and he felt a sharp pain in his neck. His last sight as blackness claimed him was his phone falling from his numb hands into the dark waters of the lake.

By the time Shido's private investigators came to the children's home where his son lived, Goro Akechi had been missing for three days.


	12. In which things go horribly wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for vaguely described medical and mental torture. This is a very short and very unhappy chapter. Sorry?

Goro never afterwards remembered that space of time very clearly, a fact for which he was grateful. What he remembered most was pain, even through the haze over his thoughts that he associated with heavy drugs, like the one time a dentist had given him strong painkillers. There were people in lab coats, though all the faces blurred together. He thought they talked at him, and at one point he heard what sounded almost like his voice cursing at Shido, but he had no idea if those things were related. Perhaps he hallucinated them.

Perhaps his dream of a second chance was over, and this was the next dream.

Perhaps he was dead again, and being punished in the afterlife as he deserved.

The next time he woke clear-headed, he was in the oubliette dream. The tiny stone room was as cold and dank as ever, though the crack in the ceiling had widened a little, letting in more blue light. That shade was the same as the light in Arisato's blue room, but that didn't seem all that comforting at the moment.

The Voice spoke, low and angry. "Someone has been interfering in my game, trying to steal my pieces. No other players are allowed, here. Little pawn, you have refused to play your assigned part, but it will make no difference in the end. If you will not be my pawn, I will simply use you to set up the game board, instead."

Something entered his mind, under his skin, a burning sliver of pain. Goro fought it, furious, but still it wrapped around the piece of him he knew was Loki, and _twisted_. Goro raged. He could feel something draining from him, but what was most important was to _get this thing out_ , it hurt, it burned, it was a violation, he hated it hated it hated hated hated hated _hate fury pain anger agony rage hate rage_ -

He was hardly aware that he was twisting, pounding on the walls, screaming, and he continued screaming in anger and agony even as unconsciousness claimed him.

From its epicenter in one unconscious body, a wave of rage broke and spread, further and further, across the entirety of Tokyo.


	13. In which there is a time of rest and recovery and surprisingly few arguments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for not quite canon-typical mind control.

Goro faded into wakefulness slowly, already aware that he was in a safe place. Minato was a warm, reassuring presence next to him on the couch, and the familiar calm of the blue room washed over him, lulling him back to sleep.

This happened several times, and when he finally woke up entirely, he just lay there for a while longer, anyway. He did not want to move, or think, or do anything but just stay in this dream with Minato. He traced the intricate lines of the circular pattern on the table with his eyes, to avoid thinking about anything else.

Some untrackable amount of time later, this tactic stopped working, as Goro could probably now trace that pattern with his eyes closed.

He sighed and sat up. Minato was sitting on the other end of the couch, staring off into space, but turned to regard Goro when he moved.

"You got me out of there, didn't you?" Goro asked. He remembered it now, a confused memory of hearing Minato call his name, grabbing onto him, a feeling of being pulled, stretched - "Thank you."

Minato smiled at him. "You're welcome. How do you feel?"

"Like I never want to go back there."

Minato's smile died. "I don't want you to go back there, either. That place - it felt like it should have been the Velvet Room, but it wasn't - right. Wasn't safe. That - thing - being - that was holding you certainly wasn't Igor, or anything that belonged there. I don't know what it was, besides very powerful and - wrong."

That was not particularly encouraging, but at the moment, all Goro really cared about was that he was here and that _thing_ was not. "Can I stay? Please?" he begged, unashamed.

Minato gave him a wry smile. "At the moment, I'm holding you here, to keep that thing from pulling you back. I'm certainly not going to insist that you leave. Stay as long as you want."

Staying in the blue room with Minato was very peaceful. Goro slept a great deal, recovering from whatever the thing - they started calling it the Velvet Room Monster, then the Velvet Monster - had done to him. He hadn't known he could sleep within a dream, but it was actually very restful, and seemed to reduce his nightmares as well; or perhaps that part was Minato's constant presence, warm and safe in a way he could not remember ever feeling before. 

When he was not sleeping, Minato remained good company. He was a master of the comfortable silence, but quite willing to talk to Goro when he wanted a conversation. With more time to talk, Minato eventually told him the full story of the Dark Hour, and how he had died.

Goro had a lot of reactions to that story, but the immediately relevant one was: "So is the Velvet Monster something like Nyx, then?"

Minato blanched. "I very much hope not. It didn't feel as strong as Nyx, at least. I couldn't tell much else, though, except that it was stronger than a shadow - even the Full Moon Shadows we fought. That leaves a lot of possibilities, unfortunately." It really did.

The story of Ikutsuki's manipulations made him furious on Minato's behalf. Yet another adult using people for their own monstrously selfish ends, pretending to care and then betraying them. In an odd way, it was reassuring to Goro, though - both that his own experience was shared, and that Minato wouldn't do that to him. He knew too well what it was like, to be so used.

After a while, Goro thought to ask, "What did you do, to get me away from that thing?"

Minato was a little embarrassed. "I tried something and hoped it would work, really - and I'm not sure it did, entirely." What? "I - heard you, and followed that to you, and when I saw that the monster was hurting you, I reached out to you and - I pulled, is the best way I can describe it. I tried to get you entirely away, but it was holding on and wouldn't let go, so I, I did the best I could. I grabbed as much of you as I could reach - it helped that you were holding onto me right back - and I _willed_ you to come with me. It still wasn't entirely enough - you're still connected to that place."

That was worrying. "How?"

Minato was definitely unhappy now. "When I pulled you away, you were - sort of - spilling chaotic energy. Constantly, and mostly back through that connection to that place. It was draining you, and - well, if there is one thing I know how to do, it is how to make a seal. I sealed over that connection, to stop the drain and keep it from calling you back."

Minato had told him how he had made the Great Seal. "Wait, so there is a piece of your soul in me, now?" That would explain some things, actually. "Is that why you feel so much more -" how to put it? "- familiar than before?"

Minato winced. "Probably. I'm sorry, Goro. It's a massive intrusion into your mind, and I did not have your permission."

Goro raised an eyebrow at him. "You _saved me_ from that thing. I'm not going to quibble about how." He considered it further. "Thank you for that, and for, well, recognizing that it is an intrusion, even if it was necessary and couldn't wait until you could ask. I give permission now, retroactively, if that makes you feel better." Minato smiled at him, happier, so Goro supposed it did.

Besides, the effects were not exactly _bad_. He was now thinking of Minato by first name, and apparently the same was true in reverse. The room had gone from somewhat blurry to as clear as any other place he had been. Minato was now warm to his senses, rather than ghostly, though still intangible, and Goro was aware of his presence even without seeing him. He thought he might be reading Minato's emotions better, too, but that could just be from more practice. All of these changes had seemed so natural, when he woke up, that it was only now that he was thinking about it that he remembered that they had been different, before.

He pointed these effects out to Minato, who frowned as the list got longer. "I don't mind any of those effects either, but you're right, I hadn't noticed they were different until now. It makes me worry about what exactly I did - and what other effects there might be."

He was correct, but still - "Whatever they are, it was worth it, at least to me. I give you permission to do whatever you need to again, if a situation like that reoccurs. I - I trust you." He did, too, and that was not an effect of whatever this new thing was - he'd felt it before. It may have made it easier to say, though.

Minato understood, and gave him the happiest smile Goro had seen from him yet. "Thank you. It is definitely worth it to me, as well. I hope there won't be a situation like that again, though."

"Me neither, but better to make plans and not need them."

"True. You have my permission, as well, then, to do as you need to do." He paused. "Admittedly, I don't know how much retroactive permission is worth when the mind-altering procedure involved may have changed your opinion of that procedure."

Goro raised an eyebrow at him. "If you had been able to ask at the time, I assure you I would have given permission then."

Minato mirrored the expression. "Permission given under duress isn't much better."

He had a point, but still, "I still don't think you made the wrong decision. All we can do about it now is move forward from where we are, and right now, I am grateful."

That made Minato smile at him again, so he counted it as a win.

They might have gone on like that indefinitely, as Minato wanted him to stay and Goro had no desire to leave, except that he slowly realized Minato was hiding something. Every now and then, on an irregular schedule, he would stop whatever he was doing briefly and turn away, before continuing on. Goro wasn't sure if this was new, or if he had not seen it before because he'd been asleep so much. Either way, he didn't worry about it until one time that Minato was a little too slow to turn away, and Goro recognized that he was hiding _pain_.

They were sitting closely together on the couch, so Goro could see him tense up. "What is hurting you?"

Minato clearly did not want to tell him. "It's nothing."

Goro just stared at him, unimpressed. As excuses went, that was terrible.

Minato sighed, and gave in. "It's the seal."

Goro took a guess. "You mean, Erebus attacking the Great Seal? That hurts you? I thought you said you didn't need to pay it much attention, though?"

"Well, yes, but I'm always aware of it. It mostly doesn't hurt me, really, though Elizabeth periodically comes and beats it down to help me out." He frowned. "She hasn't done that in quite a while, though, I think. I hope she's ok. Time is difficult here, though, maybe it hasn't been that long."

He was rambling. Goro recognized a deflection when he heard it. If Erebus wasn't hurting him, and he was avoiding the subject -

"It's the seal on me, isn't it. _That's_ what is hurting you." Minato's guilty expression confirmed it. Goro was suddenly furious. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel bad about it - and it's not that bad, anyway. It's just, sometimes, it's like - something tries harder than usual to push through, and, I'm holding two seals at once, and Erebus getting through would be _very bad_ , so that one has to be absolute, so - sometimes the other one - slips a little, but, well, anything breeching the seal does kind of hurt..."

"Drop my seal, then!"

"What? No!" Minato was horrified by that idea. "Goro, the seal and what's keeping you here - it's all one thing. If I let go, not only could that thing drain you again, it could call your mind back there and do whatever it wanted to you. This is minor, really."

Goro, admittedly, would rather nearly anything other than being at the mercy of the Velvet Monster again, but Minato being hurt because of him was _unacceptable_.

"Let it go anyway. I'll deal with it," Goro shouted. "I will not let that thing hurt you!"

Minato was obstinate. "Neither will I allow it to harm you again," he said, low and intense. Then he took a deep breath. "Alright. We're looking at this the wrong way. If neither option is acceptable, we need to find another way. This situation is unsustainable as it is now. What is our ultimate problem?" He looked at Goro expectantly.

Goro tried to rein in his anger. He didn't need to win the argument - this was _Minato_. He was trying to help; they were on the same side. Goro took a deep breath, then another. Minato waited patiently.

"That monster is hurting you," he finally gritted out.

Minato ignored his tone and nodded. "So, the Velvet Monster is our ultimate problem, as far as we know. Even if we can't figure out how to deal with that thing immediately, the situation would be vastly improved if we could break its link to you."

"-Or figure out what is trying to push through the seal and stop it," Goro offered. His anger was fading as he got more involved in trying to solve the problem, but then he frowned. "I don't know how to do any of those things, though."

"I don't, either," Minato admitted.

"Can we find out more from here?" Goro asked. He didn't particularly like where this was heading, but it had to be said.

"...No," Minato said unhappily. "Or if there is a way, I've never found out how."

"Alright then, I guess I'll have to go find out what we need to know." Minato had told Goro of his various failed attempts to leave, when he first came here and wanted desperately to at least check on his friends. Goro, on the other hand, had been leaving and coming back from the first time they met. The next step was obvious, but brought up a problem that probably should have concerned him earlier. "Actually... am I physically here? Or am I in that false Velvet Room, or in the real world somewhere?" Huh. "Am I dead?" Again.

" _No_ ," Minato said forcefully. "You're not dead. I would have felt that. Where you are, though... You're not physically here. I - think it is possible to get into the Velvet Room physically, though I’m not sure how. It's more likely that you were pulled into it mentally, in a dream, as that's the usual way there. So - that would leave you physically still in the real world, but - unresponsive. Sort of like a coma. Where were you, at the time?"

"I don't know," Goro answered. "The last place I know I was is the park, but I was somewhere else after that, too." He considered. "Do you think I could just wake up back in the outside world?"

"Maybe. I hope so," Minato said. "The problem is you didn't come here directly from there. The link back to your body goes back the way you came."

"Through the Velvet Room." Well, that was a problem. Goro didn't want to go anywhere near that place unless he had a lot more information, strength, and a plan to destroy the monster. "What if I left another way?"

Minato blinked at him. "Waking up is the way out of here."

Goro raised an eyebrow. "There is a door." He'd noticed it even back when the room looked like fuzzy blurs to him, even though he'd never used it to come or go. "Where does it lead?"

Minato looked at the door like he'd forgotten it was there. "Well - I haven't been able to open it since I came here after my death. But - Iwatodai, I suppose, or at least my memory of it."

"That's still somewhere other than here." Something else occurred to him. "When I first came here, you did something - said this was _your_ space, and made it so I could see it better. If you can control this room like that, maybe you can make this door go where you want it to go?"

"I just -" Minato protested, then frowned. "Oh. I willed it to happen. 'As one moved further into liminal space, intention and will would become more integral aspects of one's observed reality.'" He answered Goro's questioning look with, "Something from one of the research papers in the Kirijo files, from the theoretical work done by the research group that later produced the Dark Hour. Takeba did seem to have the best grasp of what they were messing with; perhaps he was right about this, as well."

"So how would you apply that to this situation?" Goro asked. That sounded like an interesting paper. He'd have to see, later, if Minato remembered the rest of it, or if he could get access to it another way.

"Intention and will," Minato answered. "This is my space, my memory." He seemed to be talking to himself, justifying the change. "That door should go to the world outside, and you belong there too, and as your body is still there you have a direct link. This door should take you there. It _will_ take you there." He nodded. "Try it."

Goro looked at the door. It didn't seem any different, but if Minato thought it would work, Goro believed it would. He swallowed hard. Despite his brave words to Minato, he didn't want to leave. He'd felt safe and happy here, for the first time in all of his life that he could recall - even when he and his mother had been happy, he'd known they weren't entirely safe, not in the way of the blue room. Could he even get back here, from wherever was on the other side of that door?

Minato seemed to divine what he was thinking. "We are tied together, by our bond, by the seal, and by our friendship. I promise you I will do everything I can to bring you back here if you need me."

Goro nodded sharply, braced himself, and opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This 'intention and will' stuff kind of feels like I've added a whole new non-canon magic mechanic, oops. I did write out how it fits into canon rules and what some of the limits are, but the characters don't know it and it's a massive wall of text with spoilers. To summarize what's useful right now: Minato can do this partly because he is so very OP, but mainly because the blue room is his own space, equivalent to his palace or dungeon. He couldn’t do nearly so much elsewhere, even if he could leave the blue room, which he pretty much can't, being dead and tied to the Seal and all. 
> 
> Also noted: So I've had a pretty good run of once-a-week updates, but unfortunately I've realized that the next few chapters need quite a bit of rewriting and my brain is not being cooperative about doing it, so that's at an end. There will be more of this story, I just don't know exactly when, sorry.


End file.
